Last week one of my very special clients asked me: “my question is, essentially, what happens when the process of doing all the work and expansion more or less wipes away the things you thought you were manifesting?" This is the situation I'm currently finding myself in where doing the work throughout the past many months has actually just opened me up to a completely new direction (some of it clear, some of it not).”
This is like gold to my eyes. We are all in different places of wanting. And all places are beautiful, because it’s exactly where we consciously are. When I was young and struggling I wanted for A LOT. And then I had the most magnificent thing happen last year. For the first time ever, I realized that I had legitimately manifested every single thing that I had ever wanted by 30. It sent me into an apathetic, depressed funk. For a while. That depressed funk was actually my ego realizing that every single exterior object, achievement, road mark it comprised for me to feel safe and in control had been met. Therefore, the funk was really an ego die-off. Ego creates personas for us so that we can feel safe, in control, and “cool”. It’s an illusion of a cocoon of protection comprised of every single thing we’ve grasped onto wanting and needing in order to feel like we are in the safe body and world that we’ve created so as to avoid ever feeling the pain that drove us into creating these false cocoons of ego in the first place.
Example. If when you were little and you were shamed by other children for being poor and trashy, your ego will do everything in its power to ensure that you are the polar opposite of what created that pain. More so, it will go to the extreme to have you chase after, acquire, and achieve everything you need in order to be classy, successful, and monetarily driven.
This tends to be the space that a lot of people manifest from (false personas - ego). Some of it is heart-centered but most is subconsciously to fulfill the illusionary protective cocoon of ego, so that we never feel pain and shame again. This is a state of being, which is PERFECTLY natural and incredibly human. Again, it’s why I don’t buy into the “think positive” rhetoric, or the, “let go of all ego thoughts”, for they are spiritual bypass tools that don't result in a constant shifted perspective.
Re-read the question my client asked. She’s in a pure state of ego die-off. This means that through expanding and doing the work, she’s having an ego clearing (of an illusion persona that defined her). And guess what that opens up to? The soul, the heart, the true path of your spirit. This is a natural change of state through working through the layers of limiting subconscious beliefs, personas, and family belief patterns that were placed on her.
When we do this work and get closer to the voice of our soul, closer to wanting from our heart, manifestations begin showing up in a whole new bigger way. Here’s a grounding and conscious visual meditation to start asking The Universe for clarity of what your soul is wanting to manifest rather than your ego.
Sit on a chair. Close your eyes. Place your palms on your thighs. Focus on your breath. Now visualize drawing up red energy from the earth through your left leg, your root chakra and down your right leg. With your next breath, visualize red energy coming through your right leg now, through your root chakra and down your left leg. Do it a couple of times until that chakra feels cleansed, bright, and strong. Now repeat that same step with orange through your second chakra, yellow through your third, green through your fourth, blue though your throat, purple through your forehead, and white over the top of your head.
Once you’ve finished with the colors and chakras, place your left hand on your heart and take a moment to witness anything coming up for you – good or bad. With each thought, I want you to silently say, I love you. (This is equal parts an NLP neuroplacticity exercise as it is hippy dippy). You’re replacing your subconscious fear loop (ego) with acceptance, which creates new neural pathways. It’s also putting you in a heart centered place. Once you feel the warm energy of your heart activated, I want you to ask The Universe for clarity. “Show me ______”. This can be what you’re calling in that still feels fuzzy. Or an answer to anything really.
This is a great practice to get out of the illusion of your ego and briefly into communicating with your heart and soul about your true trajectory. Pictures could come to you, downloads, ideas, answers, or nothing at all. Exactly what you’re supposed to receive will present itself.
I want to echo that work is the only way to get into this constant state of being. Once you leave this meditative place, the ego kicks right back up.