6 Things I Learned in my 20's

Contributor: To Be Magnetic
Photographer: Illustration via Ellie Benet Howard

I always knew that by age 30, everything would fall into place. I see now that because I had this belief, it was true for me. As predicted, by age 30 my career, health, and relationships seemed to find homeostasis. This was entirely a result of developing my self worth.

Honestly, my 20’s were a mess. Pluto was transiting my moon - I was basically experiencing my hell on earth. My relationships were codependent, my finances were nonexistent, and my worth was completely outside of me. I looked to everyone else to affirm that I was good enough.

While my 20’s were challenging (and often defeating), I eventually fell into myself. I learned everything I needed to bring me to where I am today. In retrospect, I have so much clarity and appreciation for the lessons I was given.


i. Self worth is the law of attraction - not positivity. This was the pivotal lesson that transformed my manifestation process and sense of self. This is now the basis of all of my work and teachings.

ii. I don’t have to over-accommodate and people please in order to have the relationships and love that I want. In fact, I can be loved when I do just the opposite.

iii. Being thin doesn't equate to being attractive or confident. When I feed my body well and move it gently and kindly, I feel better than ever.

iv. I don’t have to stomach mistreatment in order to survive. In my 20’s, I subconsciously believed that I couldn’t leave shitty jobs because I needed them for income, because I thought that was all I was worth, and I thought that was all I would ever have.

v. I need to be wise on my expanders and my community. I’m very particular about my subconscious curation. From the people that surround me to my social media feed, I choose and edit based on who I want to grow into.

vi. My strengths appear naturally when I face my shadow. When I leaned into doing the hard work, I learned that I was capable of intimacy, kindness, and vulnerability. And the more vulnerable I could be, the more I received the love I wanted.

While I’ve seen so much growth, the transformation never ends. I will continue to experience the ups and downs that come with life. My biggest focus is not on avoiding challenges, but on maintaining my integrity in trying times. Through Daily Reprogramming Exercises, I strengthen my capacity to handle these changes. Remember - you are resilient. Even in the most challenging of times, you have the capacity to up level.

If you’re ready to shift gears, I recommend working through Unblocked Uplevel. Whether you’re in a rut, rockbottom, or ready for the next level, this workshop will help you to move quickly through what is blocking you.

Illustration via  Ellie Benet Howard

Illustration via Ellie Benet Howard