This week, I’d like to focus on a topic that has been surfacing quite a bit in my practice. It’s important that when I see a collective of clients experiencing a similar issue, I address it - because most likely a lot of you out there might also be feeling it, or can surely benefit from it. And when this particular emotion is charged, it’s imperative to harness and direct the energy of it as it’s a very powerful force when re-processed through a different lens and acted upon.
The emotion I’m referring to here is envy. It’s an emotion that I’ve had a very close parallel to in one way or another throughout my entire life. Not to be mistuned with jealousy, for the two do differ. Jealousy is fear of losing something that you have. Envy is wanting something that someone else has. See the difference?
Now, here is the rather beautiful Manifestation aspect of envy and why you attract envious situations into your life. In one way or another, you’ve called them in to be one of your Expanders. Wait, what? You heard me right. So, for all the clients that are having a hard time “finding” Expanders, whenever you’ve stumbled upon something on Instagram, your social circle, TV, press, blogs… and you find yourself peeved for no reason as to why you’re activated and riddled with judgement and envy, it’s because you are witnessing an Expander (i.e. something you are capable of).
Everything outside of us is a projection of all the information we’ve collected along the way projected onto everything and everyone else. This is why no two people will ever have the exact same perspective or recap during the exact same experience. Therefore, when you are envious of someone, it’s actually your shadow projecting onto them elements of what you desire - recognizing through the envious subject or situation - that you are capable of the same.
Expanders are literally in your life to expand the limiting beliefs that you have rooted in your subconscious creating space for an intention of yours to come through. In short, they are expanding your beliefs.
ENVY HOW TO
So, the next time that you are activated by envy, PLEASE harness this energy and direct it in motion rather than wasting it on useless victimization, pity, and stress – which aren’t really true anyway - and focus its power into action.
Example: say that you are scrolling through Instagram and you see that someone you admire is on a trip, or bought your dream house, or got press in your favorite catalog, and envy begins to strike.
ii. Get quiet and get out your journal and free form answer these questions. What is it about the trip, house, or press that is making me feel so bad? Of course, the first surface answer you’re going to come up with is that you aren’t doing or getting the same. Keep going. Get to what is beneath it. TRIP: Is your soul crying out for more freedom and exploration? HOUSE: are you feeling the need to lay down roots, get creative with your interior, or entertain? PRESS: are you needing more recognition?
First, it’s important to get down to your soul’s expression. When you have that answer, start mapping out the baby steps you need to take to obtain the same feeling. For instance, more freedom. What does “freedom” mean to you? Where are you lacking freedom in your life? How can you make those aspects of your life freer? What are the ten steps you need to take in order to create more freedom? Map out how you can achieve each in the next sixth months.
iii. Lastly, and most importantly, this person or situation has come up to expand the limited belief in your subconscious as to what is possible for you. Now go collect as many Expanders as you need until there isn’t a doubt in your mind that you can go on the same trip, buy your unique version of the same house, or get your unique version of the same press.
ENVIED HOW TO
I’ve been lucky in my life that envy naturally hasn’t been a very strong emotion for me. At my core, I truly do believe and champion everyone getting exactly what their heart desires. Clearly, I’m in the right line of work. And I’ve weirdly always been pretty intuitive that if I’m seeing it, and I believe that I’m worthy of the same, my version will come too (in time). Not to say that I’ve never been envious. That’s just part of the human experience. But it’s rather rare, and I very quickly spin it into the above.
However, even at a young age, I have been the source of others’ envy often, and it’s a very overwhelming, uninvited, painful thing to be when it comes to people I love or admire. Because it’s stirred up a lot of shame for me, I’ve had to reclaim a lot of aspects of myself that I rejected believing that they contributed to others envying me. In my youth and early twenties, I would often dim my light in order to allow others to feel brighter. However, as I got older I’ve had to let go of many relationships due to envy, for it can breed the most painful dynamic in a friendship - someone that I love no longer having my best interest at heart and actually reveling in my pain instead, which for me was unacceptable. It felt unsafe, untrustworthy. Especially because I let very few in close and once you’re in, I’m your biggest cheerleader and the most loyal and generous person you’ll ever meet.
I stand in a place today where I feel a ton of forgiveness, personal accountability, and understanding of where others were coming from during their actions. Even more so, I feel a lot of love for them. For me, my personal growth, and most importantly, unblocking for my Manifestations, this has been very important. Some relationships have mended from it, because the other party also grew immensely, and some are still boundaries for me since the other person is still orbiting in the exact same way, which is fine and beautiful and exactly where they are at. On their own personal journey, which I lovingly support them on from afar.